The Tone of Diplomacy

A new museum devoted to American Diplomacy is under development by the US Department of State.
No indication yet of what role GSL will have.

When I was serving overseas in Iraq, one day I was called in and informed that a reassignment I had long sought was finally approved and to pack up and be ready to move out in 2 hours. Naturally, I was curious as to why this had happened so suddenly and with a tone so urgent.  I then found out that the unit I was being reassigned to had a reputation for 'problems' with lots of rumors swirling about as to the particular kind of indiscretions causing great unease up the chain of command. Since I'd be more than twice as old as nearly everybody else in the group I was joining, they wanted me to provide Adult Supervision which was very well understood by those in my new unit. I never found out exactly what the problems had been, nor was I eager to investigate, but they went away to the great relief of the higher ups and almost everyone in the group I joined.

This may surprise many of you but the occasionally irascible GSL is actually well known for his diplomatic skills often smoothing over disagreements, repairing burned bridges, and building others. And as some of you ladies already know, GSL is an absolute master at handling the female psyche.

Japanese businessmen in town crooning the newest local hit while affecting Chicago swagger.

The Den has become aware of a new trend among Japanese businessmen visiting town that after knocking back a couple of whiskys, charge to the karaoke mic and affect Chicago swagger while crooning to the melody of that Kenny Rogers ditty only with lyrics modified for local appeal with a portion of the chorus below:


                                                      GSL knows when to hold 'em, 
                                                      knows when to scold 'em, 
                                                      knows when to sweet talk bouquet, 
                                                      knows when to pun...
                                                    
We are told these raucous singalongs have become quite a spectacle all over town.

The Indomitable Miss Havisham of GSL's life is actually warm and generous but sadly
enduring some health issues and now in residence at my Estella's.
 Fur will fly.

In other developments, Den staff have been preparing for a possible diplomatic mission to bring peace to the Middle East or more specifically Middle Eastern North Carolina where my Estella has a new permanent house guest in the form of her much adored (by GSL) mother aka Miss Havisham whose health and strength may be weakening but her spirit and zest for life remains undeterred with my Estella now finding herself in the position of being Miss Havisham's personal assistant, events director, and legal guardian...except on Tuesdays or Thursdays when a quick little intercontinental trip seems a wonderful idea for a woman who can't walk or remember any of the important instructions doctors gave and she agreed to only hours before.  We all likely will have or have faced these situations with loved ones and try to do our best and GSL has often served as a peace broker, go-between, and feather unruffler between these two and his services may soon be needed again.

My Estella has a new house guest. Estella is not a natural hostess. Trouble will follow.

I have told Estella no matter how frustrating or looney tunes crazy her mother may sometimes seem, please, please, please, don't use The Tone. Only ISIS is worthy of The Tone.  Every woman has that Tone they use whenever they are expressing displeasure, or more often I find, settling a score all while saying something that seems perfectly reasonable if one were looking at a transcript which they then repeat back to you and whether it be moments, hours, or days later is done in that lovely tone she only uses in an exculpatory context.

Estella can deliver The Tone like no other with a lilt of derision so debilitating another Geneva Convention may ban its use against civilians.

In fact, Estella's tessitura is The Tone she often deploys for dismissing  over-eager shopgirls delivered with withering efficiency without the slightest pretense towards eye contact. Overcharging contractors and repairmen get the eye contact in a stare so cold it can only be measured on the Kelvin scale.  Estella came by this skill honestly as I did witness her mother summon a funeral home director minutes after receiving a bill they are so often used to sneaking by grieving widows and saw his phony Southern Baptist condescending demeanor vaporized before my very eyes before reducing his ridiculous fee by 40% and scurrying out the door with his ass in a sling.

Ladies, when do you use The Tone?