|The Lone Star State|
The Den has been a whirlwind of activity of late and this week had me deep in the Heart of Texas handling some 'bidnis'. I absolutely love Texas. Always have. I've long said I was born a century too late as I'd have made the best Texas Oil Wildcatter the world had ever seen. I've even practiced my Boss Hog strut in 10 gallon lid poked high on my noggin with a gooseneck bottled pilsner. Those reveries of 'Texas Tea' are long gone but I have been distressed at what has become of the state capital. I sat in traffic on I-35 for five hours due to an overturned truck and my view over those long aggravating hours was of one of those vanity billboards:
|Nothing rankles GSL's nerves more than a white boy in dreadlocks unless it's an ambulance chaser in white boy dreads.|
I called his office and left word we are holding a barber chair open in Chicago to give him a 'high and tight'.
Vanity billboards are more often a small town feature; usually with the local real estate chippie striking some cheesecake pose in a Dolly Parton* get-up while standing sideways to display the new rack she just had installed and financed courtesy of the McMansion monstrosity she just sold over on New Money Lane.
This clown in the white boy dreads perfectly symbolizes what Austin has become. Most all real Texans I know disown it entirely. It has become something of a Silicon Prairie tech hub with Dell Computer and numerous start-ups and is home base to countless fitness hipsters such as the now disgraced Lance Armstrong. They do put on a South by Southwest music festival that gets high marks in many quarters. In those 5 hours, I was listening to the local hipster radio station as they do play good music and heard countless promotions on the upcoming South by Southwest in a couple of weeks featuring a group called The Ting Tings. During commercial breaks a DJ would read off an ad about a local wifi company in a 30 second spot that included two full throated apologies of "I know this is a 1st World Problem..." that suddenly has become a most fashionable recusal those of exquisite sensitivity always feel the compelled to make.
|The Ting Tings headlining Austin's upcoming South by Southwest music festival in mid March.|
My all-time favorite lawyer is a Texan but he doesn't wear dreads.
|Richard 'Racehorse' Haynes: ex-Marine who fought at Iwo Jima and Texas lawyer and legend.|
Racehorse Haynes, in addition to possessing the greatest nickname in the history of America, is a Texas legend who is rumored to have once hired a high school marching band that upon receiving the handkerchief signal from an open-windowed rural Texas courtroom struck up the William Tell Overture to give his closing argument a dramatic flourish. I've been telling Estella for decades that I'm itching to go to Texas and get myself in a heap of trouble just so I can retain the services of Racehorse Haynes.
Trudye, please share a Racehorse Haynes anecdote or two as I'm sure he has cut a wide swath through H-Town!
Racehorse Haynes is The Den's Chief Legal Counsel.
*Now don't jump all over me for disrespecting Dolly Parton as I adore her but only Dolly Parton can pull off that look.