September 08, 2015

An Affair to Remember Part II


I don't remember the precise circumstances of Tiffany and I being introduced at that Saddle & Cycle Club Gala but do vividly recall beng engaged in intense conversation soon thereafter and didn't let up until the wait staff slipped past us pushing a dolly with stacked chairs. We were talking politics and the Arts, and were of similar minds and she really became amused by my ranting against that ridiculous show Sex and The City and how it ruined a generation of women, her generation. She was in complete agreement. I have only seen about an hour and a half of SATC at the insistence of a former girlfriend, who had a boxed set (natch), and it was exactly what I expected.
Probably the worst television show ever aired...has already ruined one generation of women

We were the last to leave the gala and I saw her to a cab. I remember thinking how much I liked her and if not leaving for the Army just knew we would quickly at least become close friends.  The following morning around 9am, I got the usual post-gala call from my friend 'Terry Drama' dishing all the juicy tidbits he had gathered from the previous evening. Terry had, as always, been there holding court but 9am is zero-dark-thirty in terms of Terry Drama post Gala. With his voice so animated and the hour so early, I thought something deliciously scandalous was forthcoming. Well don't you know, that all the juicy gossip had to do with that little GSL and 'Goody Two-Shoes' Tiffany with Terry reporting having already received 4 separate calls imploring him to get the dish and disseminate ASAP! I had never heard Terry Drama in such a state and so hated to have to douse the juicy tidbitting with the boring news that I only saw to it that little Miss Goody Two-Shoes was placed in a cab without me in tow and likely was at her 7am spin class fresh as a daisy only hours ago. Terry was crestfallen knowing he'd not have tales to tell his swans of headboard thumps (GSL's fav percussion instrument), morning sessions, and walks of shame. Miss Goody Two-Shoes would live on to add further chapters to her scandal free life. Well, Terry said Tiffany probably wasn't at her 7am spin class as she'd been working the phones all morning trying to gather intel on this GSL. All of Terry's swans logically surmised that GSL must have given her far more than a few hours of convo supreme.

My friend 'Terry Drama' resembles Truman Capote in every way except when holding a pen. Terry was crestfallen at not having any juicy tidbits to pass along to his 'swans'.


After having revived the deflated Terry Drama's spirits, I asked him to please give me Tiffany's phone number which he had to get from another friend as he and Tiffany had only recently become acquainted.
Minutes later, Terry passed along her number and I called Tiffany immediately, as upon reflection, I know it must have seemed unusual for us to have talked so long and gotten on so well and I didn't even ask for her number or allude to getting together. I needed to tell her why and how much I liked her. When I rang, I just said I needed to see her that day and what time would be convenient. She was getting her hair done up in my neighborhood so we could meet at the Starbucks on the corner.  She looked fantastic walking in the Starbucks and I ushered her over to a quiet corner and then hit her with my Army story and how I was leaving in 2 days for 4 1/2 years and if I wasn't would love to take her out.  I said a beautiful girl like her needed to find a nice guy and start a family and I was going to fix her up with The Good Doctor and told her he's the best man I know and one of the very few men I've ever met worthy of her.  This is when she began to cry and said: "I can't believe I finally meet a nice guy and he's leaving for 4 years to join the Army". Tiffany worked for JP Morgan Chase and I informed her another very close friend of mine, Ash who hails from New Delhi, was going to look in on her at Chase. (A few weeks later The Good Doctor did take Tiffany out to Dinner but treated it as a caretaking exercise and, while always a perfect gentlemen, he tends to preside over all conversations and came across as patronizing since he thinks of me as a little brother, he treated her like his little brother's girl. It made it back to me,natch via Terry Drama, that she didn't have a good time and I hit the roof with the clueless Good Doctor, in retrospect, conceding his manner could have come across as patronizing.  Tiffany was furious that it made it back to me that she didn't have a good time but only that while the Good Doctor was a perfect gentleman, she wasn't interested in him romantically)

Before leaving Starbucks, I told Tiffany that in 4 years, after competing my Army enlistment, I wanted to take her to our magnificent Civic Opera House and even if she was then happily married with young child, she would just have her hubs babysit and patiently wait for her return as this date cannot be broken for any reason.

Sean Connery as James Bond in Doctor No, the very first Bond movie. My friend Ash looks like an Indian version of Connery; only with a thick head of hair and impeccable manners.  I often refer to Ash as the most handsome man India has ever produced and soon to be cast as Bollywood's 007. His darling wife, Aparna, just rolls her eyes and blames me for Ash's acquiring all these fancy gadgets although at her desperate urging was able to talk him out of acquiring one of those fancy motorcycles that go from 0-200 mph in about 3 seconds.
After coffee, I stopped by Tiffany's apartment later that afternoon to leave a going away present.  The only thing I have ever possessed of any value, and I mean real value, is my book collection. I had been collecting the Easton Press leather bound editions for years and had an impressive library and hated the prospect of having them sit in storage for 4 1/2 years collecting dust and not out on display inciting interest in Literature.  Adding great sentimental value to these books is that I have been to the Kingsport Press, in Kingsport, Tennessee, where they have always been made and toured the bindery and spoke to the craftsmen who took such pride in their work just as my father and grandfather had before me. I'm sure the real antiquarian collectors sniff haughtily at these Easton Press books as showy trophies purchased by the yard for display but I loved getting my monthly subscription thru the mail, reading the forward, and thinking about when I'd read that classic. I decided to give my books away and chose with care who got what. I donated to the Illinois Saint Andrew Society, on whose Executive Committee I served, my King James Bible, easily the most impressive looking book I have ever laid eyes on,  for The Scottish Home (an old folks home we have been operating for over a century) and The Federalist Papers to The Scottish Law Society. The Good Doctor's parents aka The Magnificent Ambersons were given, fittingly, to Judge Amberson: Idylls of the King by Tennyson and Matriarch Amberson that delightful comedy by Oliver Goldsmith, She Stoops to Conquer (of course she loved it! and regaled all within earshot of its significance). In all, there were about 20 bequests distributed by The Good Doctor after my departure for boot camp. But I personally delivered to Tiffany, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon since I had referenced The Fall of Rome when issuing my scathing assessment of SATC.

to be continued....

11 comments:

  1. Will you PLEASE get to the good part about how you proposed to this fine looking lady? BTW, I meant to tell you that she is indeed worthy of a spot in the Bob Hall of Fame. Also, possibly related side note, Naomi and I want you to go to a public exhibition of jewelry in Chicago that is about to go to auction. Come on! Do it! Ladies in London and NYC want you to! Get pictures of the Van Cleef & Arpels pieces! And your beautiful Tiffany needs a vintage engagement ring! Let's go! xx

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    1. Send me details Jill and I'll definitely perform this errand for you and Naomi if my schedule permits. But I must say only Fire Island offers less temptation than V, C, & A !!!

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    2. Here's the address: Leslie Hindman Auctioneers, 1338 West Lake Street. The preview starts today, runs through 9/17, is free, open to the public, and photos are allowed! Get pictures of the VCA brooches if you go, then do a post and dedicate it to Naomi and me. Here's a link to the exhibition times http://www.lesliehindman.com/sale/important-jewelry-and-fine-timepieces/

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    3. I'll likely go on Saturday Jill and do a post on behalf of you and Naomi. I don't know Leslie Hindman personally but have been introduced a couple of times. She's big time in Chicago and started her own auction house perhaps 25 years ago then partnered with Sotheby's and sold that for a tidy profit and is doing her own thing again. Her father was a wealthy industrialist...which tends to be helpful in that line of work.

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  2. See what I mean, a master of the cliffhanger! We await with baited breath for Part III of (how many parts?)

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    1. 2 more parts CD, please bear with me.

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  3. Forget children's books! You are born to write cult detective novels! Love this!

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    1. I think you'll be liking a couple of pups I'll introduce you to in a couple of weeks.

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  4. I agree with Wendy!! This is your forte!! More please....

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    1. Jennifer,
      I don't think a cult detective story could make your darling grandson giggle nor make your beautiful daughter's smile beam when hearing your grandson giggle quite like the two pups that will soon be making their debut.
      You'll be getting a care package hot off the press!

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  5. No time to comment. Have to skip to the end...

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