May 31, 2015

Man Talk Part II- The Hammer Lane

Colin over at The Red Lion Pub reports that Den Mascot, Chauncey (above), has been getting a little big for his britches in my absence.  He's been working the room with impersonations of GSL's signature Night Moves such as the Ranch Hand Supreme and this pic above is of Chauncey doing GSL's trademark snarl. Colin reports some gal from the Jersey Shore and a Franco-Russian Temptress have been showing up every night all dolled up making inquiries...

*It has been rumored the Bob Segar ditty was based on some of GSL's early work.

Last week was a bear but I was finally able to get out of town Thursday evening and race across Ontario towards a meet with my illustrator up in Quebec City. Since it was last minute, I just fueled up the Den Cruiser and off I went. Through Toronto there is a 40 mile (65 km) parking lot that my GPS said is Highway 401 and this is middle of the day on Friday...or at least it was midday when I arrived at the front end of that parking lot. (Freshy, was that you making eyes at me from that white Jeep Cherokee?)



Dani and Jen. I see that enormous construction zone in the middle that is widening the parking lot with extra lanes. While I love Canada, they could use some guidance to alleviate these bottlenecks so use your considerable influence to get your highway department to install a Hammer Lane. I'll even show up for the ribbon-cutting ceremony. This is the lane that should always be to your far left unless you are passing. Contrary to news reports, I decreed the Hammer Lane go co-ed way back in 1979 although we have recently put a soccer mom on probation pending review for driving her mini-van 93 miles with her left turn signal only indicating a Den sponsored Hammer Lane refresher course .  The Den offers Hammer Lane guidance along with Parallel Parking pointers free of charge.

As I neared the exits for Guelph and Oakville, I used my Den Dogwhistle to put a little spring in the step of Scout and Senena. BTW: the Den Dog Whistle is just the Den Wolf Whistle with a silencer.

Daisy Duke after becoming the first woman to do a Hammer Lane Power Sweep
down Interstate 95 in South Georgia in 1979.
The trip to gorgeous Quebec City was too short but very successful. Details will follow although not sure when as I begin my National Guard Annual Training tomorrow and will be in the Dakotas doing stuff on Indian Reservations for Native Americans that also provides good logistics training. I'll check in if and when I can.

19 comments:

  1. Ha ha, i love and respect the hammer lane Moss and i do believed i impressed parallel parking in dtsp this morning directly in front of Betsys Crepes at brunch thanks to you. I am so excited about what your illustrator can do for you and yours. Finally,I hear those young indian women can be difficult to fend off for the men in uniform and if you are using night vision out there you will kick up a bunch of mice and in turn, owls.

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    1. Any time you parallel park and there's no police report is a triumph...you better tell me if Chauncey starts calling you.

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    2. Any time you parallel park and there's no police report is a triumph...you better tell me if Chauncey starts calling you.

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    3. Any time you parallel park and there's no police report is a triumph...you better tell me if Chauncey starts calling you.

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  2. I cannot believe you drove right past Guelph, and in fact stopped for a visit in the parking lot known as the 401 highway, and didn't pop in for a drink or two!
    Getting in and out of Toronto: worst traffic in North America outside of LA, or so I've been told.
    Next time I have a whiskey glass with your name on it!

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    1. Dani, this was very last minute and I'd never ambush you without sufficient warning. LOVE the reno you have been sharing as what you have done is exactly what I like.

      My next trip through, I'll stop in for a drink and take it at your fab window seat.

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    2. Dani, this was very last minute and I'd never ambush you without sufficient warning. LOVE the reno you have been sharing as what you have done is exactly what I like.

      My next trip through, I'll stop in for a drink and take it at your fab window seat.

      Delete
    3. Dani, this was very last minute and I'd never ambush you without sufficient warning. LOVE the reno you have been sharing as what you have done is exactly what I like.

      My next trip through, I'll stop in for a drink and take it at your fab window seat.

      Delete
  3. Dani you r going to love GSL.

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  4. I feel a civic duty to inform people here in Oz how to do a correct merge where 2 lanes go down to 1. It's my personal cross to bear. Obviously the hammer lane is a similar problem for you - that drive sounds like a nightmare. Glad to hear the book is moving forward - looking forward to seeing some previews of the work!

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    1. Heidi,
      You're so right on the merge as I feel word hasn't goten out that the on-ramp is where you accelerate. The Den may bring you in to give that Master Class.

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  5. There is no hammer lane here. Oh, there is suppose to be, but between road construction and idiots it just never seems to exist.

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    1. T, that is depressing to hear as I've done some of my best hammer lane work in Tennessee but you're right, Knoxville and Nashville have gotten overrun and as you note hammer lane skills have eroded in recent years.

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  6. What a hilarious post, just when I needed a laugh! Love the pic you included of Daisy Duke. So great how she wore her pantyhose with her shorts. Ah, the good ol days. So jealous that you got to go to Quebec City. I have been wanting to go there for a few years now. Hope training goes well and as always, thank you for your service. And I mean that! xx

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    1. Thank you Jill and wonder if Daisy Dukes will be a future "How I Wear My..." feature over at your charming EJS....?

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  7. So close! You will have to pop in on your next trip through town. I make no apologies for the 401. I drive the 407 or the QEW only, skirting the entire city to get me from south Oakville to wherever I need to go. Otherwise, I'm on the commuter train which, while lacking a bar car, is still not a bad way to get around.

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  8. Jen, I gave Serena a little Cole Porter "The Way You Look Tonight" on the Den Dog Whistle passing the Oakville exit Friday midday if you remember her perking up all of a sudden.
    The ultimate in Commuter Travel. My Grandfather was a legend on the Metro North out of Grand Central for about 40 years. I had a couple old timers tell me they coveted a spot in his Bridge game as much as making partner.

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    1. I am referring to the Bar Car Natch they should have named after him as he financed it 3 times over!

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  9. How funny - I have heard that expression so so many times and have never actually seen a pic of Dairy Duke. The shorts the girls wear these days are a lot less modest than hers'

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